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Invented by the evil Rupert Murdoch to provide employment for Major League Baseball announcers such as Tim McCarver during the off-season, Arena Football resembles the true sport of football in name only. The sport of "Arena Football", if you can call it a true sport, is universally reviled as the worst sport in America if not the world.

An "Arena Football" game consists mainly of fat guys slamming into each other while wearing thick padding and helmets, while the goalie (who for some reason is called a "quarterback") looks for a midfielder or attacker to throw the ball to. Most of the time the player holds the ball in their hands instead of kicking it around like a true man. No wonder NBC loses to public service announcements and infomercials whenever they broadcast this piece of... I mean, "Arena Football" is the lowest rated sporting event on television.

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