The Big Three Network, occasionally referred to as the Big 3 Network, is a cable television network that was founded in 2007 by a consortium of automotive manufacturers located in the Detroit area.

Goals and ObjectivesEdit

The purpose of the Big Three Network is to improve the education and well-being of college students, so that one day they can fill high-paying assembly line positions in Mexico. The network plans to do this by broadcasting sports events non-stop, thus teaching students and other interested parties lessons in the fields of higher mathematics, social networking and business.

Coalition with Rupert MurdochEdit

Unable to fund the network schedule, the companies of the Big Three Network allied themselves with Rupert Murdoch and News Corporation. In exchange for 49% of the network, News Corporation will provide needed funding, as well as broadcast facilities conveniently located behind the set of FOX NFL Sunday.

Feud with ComcastEdit

Realizing that ESPN was their main competition, the Big Three Network requested that cable companies such as Comcast replace at least one of the myriad of ESPN channels with Big Three Network programming. Unwilling to part with the funding it receives for broadcasting ESPN8 and other ESPN family networks, Comcast responded by inventing a new "Premier Programming Tier." This special tier of programming, located somewhere above Channel 800, is used for networks (such as the Big Three Network, the NFL Network and Discovery Times Channel) that Comcast is currently feuding with.


The Big Three Network's premiere game, a football game pitting a school of engineers from Michigan against a school of rednecks form Appalachia, drew a "record" viewership of 52 football fans. Following the near-upset of the rednecks by the upstart engineers, ratings gradually got worse. As of December 2008, only 30 people had ordered the Big Three Network, mainly by accident.


Nobody you've actually heard of. Mostly people who couldn't get hired by ESPN, Fox Sports or any other sports broadcasting outlet.

Unanswered Questions About the Big Three NetworkEdit

  • Exactly what do they plan on broadcasting during the summer months when college sports is out of season?
  • What happens if they run out of money? Will they have to sell the network to some anime producer from Japan?

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