Comcast is a cable company that reaches octopus-like across the United States. It was founded in 1963, with the express purpose of charging people as much money as possible for basic cable service without getting slapped down by the government or having an angry mob burn down its offices. It has succeeded immensely.

Comcast's customer service staff enjoys having industry bragging rights for having the shortest average time for making callers cry and/or resort to a stream of blistering obscenities.

Feuds With Cable NetworksEdit

Recently, Comcast has engaged in several memorable feuds with upstart cable television channels. Among the most notable of these were against:

  1. Court TV, whom Comcast felt wasn't showing enough actual court cases. After massive destruction, Court TV was forced to change its name to truTV and hide in shame.
  2. NFL Network, who attempted to force Comcast to show their programming in primetime along with the major networks (and CW). After a quick smackdown by Congress, the NFL Network was forced to give the New England Patriots, the network's premiere football franchise, to both CBS and NBC.
  3. Nickelodeon GaS, who wanted to show 23 hours of infomercials surrounded by one hour of actual programming. Comcast opposed this because none of the ads featured any of Comcast's fine products. After an intense beatdown, Nickelodeon GaS became one of the few cable channels to get cancelled.
  4. The Big Ten Network, whose educational programming threatens to teach Comcast subscribers about rival cable networks, satellite programming and other alternatives to Comcast and even television itself. This battle is ongoing.

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