Conan O'Brien is the whitest human being known to science. Debate continues to this day about whether the dazzling radiance of his alabaster skin is a fluke of nature, or the product of sinister genetic engineering. He reportedly developed his keen sense of humor as a defensive mechanism in response to schoolyard beatings, which continued well into his college years.

Once a writer for The Simpsons, Conan O'Brien hosted Late Night with Conan O'Brien on NBC for a time before assuming hosting duties of The Tonight Show in 2009, following Jay Leno's presumed bodily assumption into heaven to sit at the right hand of Johnny. However, he vacated this spot in 2010 after execs wanted to move the time slot of the show to midnight, claiming "Mother wants me in bed before then," and as a result was laughed out of NBC headquarters in New York. Wandering the lonely streets of development hell, he was soon rescued from his predicament by TBS, where he now hosts Conan every night at 11:00, and is always off in time for tuck-in.

Conan O'Brien was the sixth man to host the NBC program of the same name.