Hockey Night in Canada is the longest-running reality show in Canada. It was remade in the U.S. as Monday Night Football.

Recently, Hockey Night in Canada has announced that it could no longer afford to pay for its iconic theme song, which, as every Canadian knows, features the inspiring lyrics:

Dun da DA da-dut, dun da DA da-dut!
Dun da DUN da-dut, dun da DUN da-dat, daaaaa...

Da-dun da-dun, dut DAAAAAA!
Da-dun da-dun, dut duh-DAAAAAA!

Canadians are not allowed to vote, drive, own property, or receive any kind of medical attention unless they can sing the song all the way through without any sense of shame or irony. As is true of all Canadian songs of the 20th century, the Hockey Night in Canada theme song was composed by Gordon Lightfoot.

As a result of the CBC's removing the Hocky Night in Canada theme from airwaves, the Canadian government has decreed that every Canadian citizen must submit a potential new HNiC theme song to the CBC. The winning entry will have the prestigious honor of being broadcast at the beginning of every hockey game, so that Canadians can all mute their TV sets and sing the real Hockey Night in Canada song overtop it.

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