If you're a woman, or a man with abnormal amounts of estrogen, and you cry a lot, and you have flashbacks to a hazy childhood involving your parents who didn't love you enough, and you may have at some point or other been stalked by a crazy person hellbent on sacrificing you to Moloch, and you have close friends whose marriages are falling apart because of decade-long secret affairs, and you were just fired from your crap job and you got another crap job because you need to take care of your sick grandmother who is being eaten away from the inside out by a horribly rare tropical malady... if any of those things apply to you, don't watch Lifetime. It'll just be reality TV with cheesy background music.

See also the Oxygen network. Oh!

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