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Oprah Winfrey is a talk show host, television and movie producer, and benevolent deity to millions of television watchers.

The power of Oprah Winfrey is such that she singlehandedly taught the entire nation to read, gave away free cars to most of the greater Chicago area during a sweeps-period episode, then publicly beheaded fabulist James Frey after he lied to her on national television.

There are rumors that Oprah's future projects will include an interview with author Allegra Goodman, a profile on MILFs who are exhausted from the demands of their toddlers, and the curing of Hepatitis strains A-C, broadcast live and in real time on Oprah's cable television channel OWN.

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