TGIF (for "Televideo Government Initiative Five") was an experiment carried out by the United States Government starting in the late 1980s and continuing throughout the 1990s.

TGIF sought to curtail the alarming increase in teen pregnancy and drug abuse by filling a Friday night prime time schedule with programming that was hip, edgy, and relevant to American youth. It was believed that such entertainment would be irresistible to teens, which would keep them at home on Friday nights instead of out on the streets, whorin' around and smoking crack.

To no one's great surprise, the government managed to screw it up completely. The TGIF lineup of shows -- produced at great expense in a secret studio deep beneath Cheyenne Mountain, and designed scientifically for maximum radness with input from Congressmen and parental focus groups -- was utter crap. Aired on ABC, simply because the network had nothing better to do with its time, every show was a study in embarrassing, saccharine drek, and filled with forced humor that was slightly less sophisticated than the Dynamite Magazine Bummers page.

As a result, the TGIF experiment failed to significantly reduce its intended targets. The execrable lineup provided no incentive for skanky, crackhead kids to change their ways. In fact, teen pregnancy and drug abuse spiked sharply, as previously good kids turned to drugs and sex out of desperation, disillusioned by a world that would allow Perfect Strangers to flourish for eight seasons. The United States birth rate nine months after the first airing of the Urkel Dance remains the highest on record.

Naturally, the government continued to throw perfectly good money at TGIF for over a decade, despite a complete lack of positive results. The program was finally discontinued in 2000, when lobbyists succeeded in convincing Congress that teen delinquency could be addressed much more effectively by rerouting TGIF's funding to the teachers' unions.

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