The apex of all human culture and literature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles originally aired on CBS in 1483. The show followed the exploits of four major artists of the Italian Renaissance as they battled the evil Scottish McFoot clan. These painters and sculptors, the results of hideous couplings between tortoises and bare-chested Classical dames, were all middle-aged, and well-versed in the arts and skills of Bruce-Lee-Fu. They were led by a small piece of wood embedded in the skin, and their great nemesis was a piece of office data destruction equipment. All this aside, the show largely revolved around the consumption of pizza, and yelling poorly considered surfer slang.

Any and all rumors of later live-action shows and animated series are purely Communist lies, and anyone who spreads them is, of course, a Communist.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja TurtlesEdit

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